balancing act

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yesterday was like that – today isn’t (yet).

sometimes I hit this kinda balance, just the right amount of food and coffee and cigarettes and water and air and sleep. that’s all that goes into the mix, you’d think it would be easy after all these year to get a balance, to hit my stride. it’s not, because there is something else in that mix that I never seem to be able to put my finger on, get a rope around. my biology gets wired into my mood, my emotions, then I fail to eat when I should and it all goes to shit. 12 hours of pain and spiraling world view.

but when I hit this point of balance when I feel “normal” I keep wondering if I could just feel like this forever … does anyone ever feel this way all the time? probly not :)

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